Always
by Natty2026
Summary: Fixing the ending to 4x08. Spoilers ahead.


Title: Always

Pairing:Veronica/Logan

Disclaimer: I do not own this show. It belongs to Rob Thomas and co. I'm just going to fix it. All rights to them, I guess. And credit to me to having to work with that horrible ending and make something better out of it for the fans.

SPOILERS WARNING- If you haven't seen 4x08, good. Don't. RUN! Don't even bother reading this and live in blissful ignorance, you beautiful magical butterfly.

Always

A year. It had been a year. Three hundred and sixty five days without the former obligatory psychotic jackass. In that time the Earth still turned on its axis, the sun still rose and set, the birds still chirped. The world kept going..for everyone else. But, Veronica Mars wasn't anyone else. Her world had stopped. Literally blown up in her face. The traumas of her life, all that she had internalized, that had fueled her anger, it all had been rivaled with one moment. The moment where she thought all her reasons to be angry at the world had been confirmed. The moment her husband was killed.

Her husband. For not even an hour? In those minutes that she had been a wife, she had actually been…what was the word that was so foreign to her? Oh right, happy. Now, she was a widow. A widow that for a year took care of her father and buried herself in cases, trying to numb the pain and push away lingering doubts. Those doubts, however, were not if being with Logan had been worth it. If getting married had been right. No. The doubts that entered her brain, that kept her awake on most nights, were nothing about her choices on her relationship or even about what she could have done differently. No. It was about possible clues. Clues to a theory. A theory she tried desperately to not think about, but she was "screwy" in that way. Always had been. Always questioned. Always looked deeper. What did it matter if those thoughts were crazy? People thought she was crazy anyway. So the doubts slowly grew. Ones all revolving around the moment her husband was killed. Allegedly.

Crazy, right?

The first time doubt had lingered was with the forensics report. Logan's DNA was in the car, but only fragments. Logic would tell her, "Your husband blew up. What did you think they would find?". What wasn't found in that debris site was a ring. That was found in the apartment. She replayed the moments before he left. They were talking about a honeymoon. Sedona. She had been in the bathroom. Why did he take off his ring? It was a strange detail. Many would overlook it. Not her. She held onto that clue for dear life. And that wasn't the only one.

In the months after the bombing she has been in contact with Leo at the FBI. He promised anything he found he would forward directly to her. There wasn't much. Nothing that she didn't already know. Logan's affairs had been in order, but the military always had their men prepare letters and wills in the event of their death on a mission. The doubt came when Leo told her that when looking deeper into the white car coming down the road his trail ended. **Restricted.** That was the word he used. Why? He didn't know. He didn't seem too fazed, it wasn't his jurisdiction really, but Veronica's mind spun a web. She was getting crazier. A conspiracy forming. She hadn't seen the explosion firsthand, so maybe- No. She couldn't go down that road. Not yet. But there was something there. Her gut was screaming at her to keep searching. It was an all too common feeling.

The web tangled in her thoughts. Nothing in her life was ever easy, ever simple. Nothing was cut and dry. There was always something more. Her story with Logan Echolls was long. Never easy. Never simple. He has said one time, years ago, that their story was epic. That it spanned years and continents. Lives ruined. Bloodshed. He was right. Her mind, maybe her heart, just kept telling her it wasn't over. It couldn't be. It couldn't end like this. She had always been afraid that Logan would get himself killed. That he would do something stupid, something heroic. But getting into a car with a bomb meant for her? No. His story couldn't end that way. That was...lame? It wasn't fair. Though, when had life ever really been fair to the both of them?

After more months of searching, there were no new leads. Nothing more she could look into anyway. Maybe she was grasping at straws. Maybe she just couldn't let go. She would dream about him. Talk to him when she was alone. Be walking into the house or office and could swear she saw him waiting for her, could hear him call out her name. She would replay old messages just to hear his voice. Read old text messages, especially his last one. She would cry in the shower. She would grieve.

She couldn't stay in Neptune anymore. The town had changed the way the NUTTS had wanted it to. Matty was helping at Mars Investigations, her father almost fully recovered as he got back to his normal routine after his surgery. She decided that she needed to go. A case taking her out of the city. That's what she said. What was the case? Well, it was the case of Veronica Mars.

And after a year, three hundred and sixty-five days, she made a call. To Jane, Logan's therapist.

"I'm happy you called, Veronica."

At least one of them was happy. She needed to do this. Logan would have wanted it. He had nudged her to see Jane. That it would be good for her, good for them. It had taken her too long. When she voiced that to Jane, looking up at the ceiling, Jane countered that Logan would be impressed. Veronica let a tiny smile form on her lips.

As their session came to a close Jane told her that she had something for her, a voicemail from Logan the day of their wedding. Another chance to hear his voice. As Veronica drove in the car she played the voicemail.

"_Is it weird to want to marry someone because you respect her, because you want to be like her?_" Logan asked. "_Because you want children who will inherit her qualities? I want to marry Veronica because she's the toughest human being I've ever met. Blows that would destroy most people, she always picks herself back up._"

She played the message a few more times. She drove down the highway, out of Neptune and with the sound of Logan's voice. The more she listened to him, the more she memorized it. It was what she needed to hear. That even though she was a marshmallow, she would pick herself back up by her bootstraps. It took her a little while, but she was beginning to be able to do it.

It was two hours into her travelling east of Neptune that something got caught in the web. _"Blows that would destroy most people, she always picks herself back up again."_ It was his choice of words. It could have been a coincidence. A word like "blow" to mean a punch or hit. And yet, the wheels in her mind turned. Jane had said that Logan had come to see her before they had gotten married. Why did he call her and leave a voicemail, like that? Was it just to reaffirm something they spoke about in their session, to let Jane know that this was the decision he was making and his reasoning? He talked a lot to her, and that could have been all he was doing, but, what if….?

"Stop!" Veronica said to herself as she hit the steering wheel. "Just stop."

A lone tear fell down behind her sunglasses on her cheek before she swatted it away. She always did this to herself. The moment she started to heal she pulled at the scab.

Veronica stopped for food along the way and the pamphlets for attractions nearby caught her attention. **Sedona Spiritual Vortexes for Your Healing and Transformation**. She let a chuckle out from under her breath and shook her head. Her gut nudged at her again. She pulled the pamphlet out from the rack and stared at the cover.

"Healing and transformation, huh? Just what this caterpillar needs."

Veronica walked back to her car and threw the brochure on the driver's side seat. Her destination had been Sedona from the start. When she got into her car at the start of the morning, her inner monologue was talking to Logan, telling him that she was going to see him. It was their anniversary after all. With four and a half hours left of her travelling she wrestled with the web, took calls from her father and from Wallace, and focused forward-literally and figuratively.

The sun was beginning to set when she got to Cathedral Rock in Sedona, Arizona. She had talked about it to Logan. It was the most photographed spot for sunset pictures. Beautiful, romantic, and peaceful. She pulled her camera bag from the backseat and exited the car.

There were tourists around, each wanting to take their own pictures and hoping to capture some of that peace and beauty. She brought the lens up and clicked the shutter button. Taking a breath she lowered the camera and took it in the landscape. After a moment of solace, she brought the camera back up to her face and moved the lens around. She took more pictures of the mountains and some of the tourists. She was a people watcher, it was instinct. She moved once more and put the camera in focus on the crowd. A little more focus as most of the crowd moved, except one stoic figure. When she could see clearly, her heart stopped. Breath escaped her. She slowly lowered the camera and blinked furiously. She didn't know how, but her legs had started to move forward, toward the figure. It didn't move, it didn't speak, and kept eye contact with her.

Veronica's mouth had gone dry. She didn't realize that her jaw had dropped. The craziness had finally caught up with her. The crowds had dispersed and it was only her and the figure.

"This isn't the first time I've conjured you up." She said to the image of Logan in his military uniform.

His lips curved up into a smile.

Veronica could feel the moisture building up in her eyes. She wanted to reach out and touch him, to feel him again. As the sun set further, it cast a light that made a golden glow around their silhouette.

"I miss you." She whispered.

"I missed you, too, Veronica." The image said as he took a step forward, like it knew the trepidation she would be feeling.

Another tear escaped her eye and slid down her cheek. The image reached out his hand and with his thumb wiped it away. She closed her eyes to feel of Logan. The very real feeling. She suddenly opened her eyes back up and stared at the hand that had touched her. She reached out and touched his chest, her hands brushing against the fabric of his uniform. It felt….it felt….

"I'm real, Veronica."

Her head snapped up to his face. She reached up and let her hand slide down his cheek. She could feel him. She lost her breath again. Logan Echolls wasn't dead. He was standing right before her in his military uniform. His uniform, which meant…

"This was all about a mission?" She questioned.

He cupped her face and stared deeply into her eyes.

"I couldn't tell you. I'm so sorry."

Sorry. The last text message he had sent. It hadn't been about being late for their wedding. It was in anticipation for what he was about to do next.

"Your text message. _Sorry._"

He nodded in confirmation.

"I thought about just not showing up, wondering if that would be easier. Typical Logan. But, I couldn't not marry you."

"The voicemail that you left for Jane. You left that for me. You wanted me to hear it."

He nodded again. "I didn't want that pretty head of yours to go in an oven."

"God, I knew it." She gasped. Her gut had been right.

"I knew you would. You're Veronica Mars." He smiled.

That was Veronica's cue to burst into tears. Logan grabbed and held her as she fell into him. He enveloped his arms around her and she could hear his heart beating, feel his chest moving as he breathed. She fisted the back of his jacket, her knuckles turning white.

"Save the back clawing for later, huh?" He tried to joke as he kissed her on the head.

She looked up at him again, every detail of his face being memorized once more. A new scar above his eyebrow. He looked like he had aged more than just the year they were apart. And then, she wanted to hit him for everything. Release every emotion in her body. He knew she wanted to do that, too.

"I'm out, Veronica. That was my last mission."

She wanted to ask him so many questions. When he knew he was leaving. About the information Leo couldn't access. About how it was all planned. How he escaped. Was it in the car that had been coming down the street? Why did they need Logan Echolls dead for the mission? Why did it take a year? Most of all...

"How did you find me?" She asked.

"Your cell phone pinged from a tower heading in this direction. I took a chance. Since..." his words trailed off.

Since this was where they were going to honeymoon, where they were heading moments before he left, before he left her a year ago.

"Veronica, there's so much to say. And the only thing I can even think about, can tell you right now, is how much I love you and that being away this whole year, without being able to contact you, was a fate worse than death. All I could do was count the days and hope that the little things I thought to do, that you would piece it together. Somehow, you would know."

Veronica placed her hand on her chest and felt for the necklace under her shirt. She pulled out the long chain and lifted it above her head taking it off. She transferred it over to him and gently put it over his head and let it fall, the band catching the light of the setting sun. She tugged at the chain, their foreheads meeting.

Somehow, she did know. Every fiber of her being wouldn't let her take what had happened at face value. Her mind, heart, and soul clinging to the promise he made before every time he went away.

"You came back to me." She said firmly.

"Always." He replied with unwavering assurance that cut her to her core.

She smiled, finally at peace, as the word floated into the wind, encircling and embracing them. Their lips then met. A kiss sweet and fulfilling, giving life and healing. She still had so many questions, she always would. Now, there was time. They could dwell later on the missed opportunities of their first year of marriage and the trials and tribulations that was their life. But, that's how their relationship had been characterized years ago, hadn't it? It spanned years, continents, with lives ruined, and bloodshed. They didn't write songs about the relationships that came easy. But at the end of it all, they came back to each other.

Always.


End file.
